function translateText(text)
     {

       // change it all to uppercase

       text = text.toUpperCase();

       // split the string into an array

       var textArray = text.split(" ");

       // create output and length variables

       var output = "";
       var arrayLength = textArray.length;
       var wordLength;

       // start loop which translates what's written

       for (var i = 0; i < arrayLength; i++)
       {
         // create variable for how long the current word is

         wordLength = textArray[i].length;

         // test if the word is any special words; if so, change it to associated misspelling/abbreviation

         if (
           (textArray[i].indexOf("YOUR") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("YOUR") == 0 && wordLength == 4) ||
           (textArray[i].indexOf("YOU'RE") != -1  && textArray[i].indexOf("YOU'RE") == 0 && wordLength == 6)
           )
          output += "UR";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("YOU") != -1)
          output += "U";
         else if ((textArray[i] + " " + textArray[i+1] + " " + textArray[i+2]).indexOf("GOT TO GO") != -1)
         {
           output += "G2G";
           i += 2;
         }
         else if ((textArray[i] + " " + textArray[i+1] + " " + textArray[i+2]).indexOf("GOT TA GO") != -1)
         {
		   output += "G2G";
		   i += 2;
         }
         else if ((textArray[i] + " " + textArray[i+1]).indexOf("GOTTA GO") != -1)
         {
		   output += "G2G";
		   i++;
         }
         else if ((textArray[i] + " " + textArray[i+1]).indexOf("WHAT THE") != -1)
         {

           output += "WT";

           if ((textArray[i+2].indexOf("FUCK") != -1) && textArray[i+2].charAt(textArray[i+2].indexOf("FUCK") + 4) != "I")
           {

             // if phrase is "what the fuck", write "F"

             output += "F";
             i++;

           }  // end if
           else if (textArray[i+2].indexOf("HELL") != -1 || textArray[i+2].indexOf("HECK") != -1)
           {
             // if phrase is "what the hell", write "H"

             output += "H";
             i++;

           }  // end if

           i++;

         }  // end if
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("WHAT") != -1)
          output += "WUT";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("HELLO") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("HELLO") == 0 && wordLength == 5)
          output += "O HAI";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("HI") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("HI") == 0 && wordLength == 2)
          output += "O HAI";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("ARE") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("ARE") + 3 == wordLength)
          output += "R";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("WHY") != -1)
          output += "Y";
         else if ((textArray[i] + " " + textArray[i+1] + " " + textArray[i+2]).indexOf("BE RIGHT BACK") != -1)
         {

           output += "BRB";
           i += 2;

         }  // end if
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("BECAUSE") != -1)
          output += "B/C";
         else if ((textArray[i] + " " + textArray[i+1] + " " + textArray[i+2]).indexOf("OH MY GOD") != -1)
         {

           output += "OMG";
           i += 2;

         }  // end if
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("THE") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("THE") == 0 && wordLength == 3)
          if (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 2)
           output += "TEH";
          else
           output += "DA";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("MY") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("MY") == 0 && wordLength == 2)
          output += "MAH";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("NEW") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("NEW") == 0 && wordLength == 3)
          output += "NU";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("WITH") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("WITH") == 0 && wordLength == 4)
          output += "WIT";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("REALLY") != -1)
          output += "RILLY";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("PLEASE") != -1 || textArray[i].indexOf("PLEEZ") != -1)
          output += "PLZ";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("THANKS") != -1)
          output += "THX";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("THIS") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("THIS") == 0 && wordLength == 4)
          output += "THES";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("IS") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("IS") == 0 && wordLength == 2)
          output += "SI";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("LOVE") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("LOVE") == 0 && wordLength == 4)
          output += "LUV";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("THERE") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("THERE") == 0 && wordLength == 5)
          if (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 2)
           output += "THEIR";
          else
           output += "THEYRE";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("THEIR") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("THEIR") == 0 && wordLength == 5)
          if (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 2)
           output += "THERE";
          else
           output += "THEYRE";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("THEY'RE") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("THEY'RE") == 0 && wordLength == 7)
          if (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 2)
           output += "THERE";
          else
           output += "THEIR";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("OK") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("OK") + 2 == wordLength && textArray[i].indexOf("OK") == 0)
          output += "K";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("OKAY") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("OKAY") == 0 && wordLength == 4)
          output += "K";
         else if (textArray[i].indexOf("LIBRARY") != -1 && textArray[i].indexOf("LIBRARY") == 0 && wordLength == 7)
          output += "LIBERRY";
         else
         {

           // if the word is none of those things, check to see if individual letters are special letters

           for (var j = 0; j < wordLength; j++)
           {
             // delete double-letters; AOLers aren't that capable of spelling

             if (textArray[i].charAt(j) == textArray[i].charAt(j+1))
             {

               output += textArray[i].charAt(j);

               j++;

             }  // end if

             // change "BE" to "B"

             else if (textArray[i].charAt(j) == "B")
             {

               output += "B";

               if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) == "E")
                j++;

             }  // end if

             // change "ck" to simply "k" unless there is an "s" after the "k"

             else if (textArray[i].charAt(j) == "C")
              if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) == "K")
              {
                if (textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "S")
                {

                  output += "X";
                  j += 2;

                }  // end if
                else
                {

                  output += "K";
                  j++;

                }
              }  // end if
              else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) == "S")
              {
                if (textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "S")
                {

                  output += "X";
                  j++;

                }  // end if
              }  // end if
              else
               output += "C";

             // randomly change E's to 3's

             else if (textArray[i].charAt(j) == "E")
              if (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 3 == 2)
               output += "3";
              else if (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 3 == 1)
               output += "A";
              else
               output += "E";

             // do stuff with I's

             else if (textArray[i].charAt(j) == "I")
             {

               // if there's an -ing word, change it to -ng

               if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) + textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "NG")
               {

                 output += "NG";
                 j+= 2;

               }  // end if

               // if there is an i-e word, such as "like", put the E in front of the third letter to make it "liek"

               else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "E")
               {

                 output += "IE" + textArray[i].charAt(j+1);
                 j+= 2;

               }  // end if

               // if a word has "ie" in it, change it to "ei"

               else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) == "E")
               {

                 output += "EI";
                 j++;

               }  // end if

               // change "I'm going" or "I am going" to "Ima"

               else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) + textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "'M" && j + 3 == wordLength)
               {

                 if (textArray[i+1] + " " + textArray[i+2] == "GOING TO")
                 {

                   output += "IMA";
                   i += 2;
                   j += 2;

                 }  // end if
                 else
                  output += "IM";

               }  // end if
               else if (textArray[i+1] == "AM")
                if (textArray[i+2] + " " + textArray[i+3] == "GOING TO")
                {

                  output += "IMA";
                  i += 3;

                }  // end if
                else
                {

                  output += "IM";
                  i++;

                }  // end else
               else
                output += "I";

             }  // end if

             // change "AM" to "M"

             else if (textArray[i].charAt(j) == "A")
              if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) == "M")
              {

                output += "M";
                j++;

              }  // end if
              else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) + textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "LK")
              {

                output += "OK";
                j += 2;

              }  // end if
              else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) == "I")
              {

                output += "A" + textArray[i].charAt(j+2) + "E";
                j += 2;

              }  // end if
              else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) + textArray[i].charAt(j+2) + textArray[i].charAt(j+3) == "TER")
              {

                output += "8R";
                j += 3;

              }  // end if
              else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "E")
              {

                output += "AE" + textArray[i].charAt(j+1);
                j += 2;

              }  // end if
              else
               output += "A";

             else if (textArray[i].charAt(j) == "S")

              // replace "school" with "skool"

              if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) + textArray[i].charAt(j+2) + textArray[i].charAt(j+3) + textArray[i].charAt(j+4) + textArray[i].charAt(j+5) == "CHOOL")
              {

                output += "SKOOL";
                j += 5;

              }  // end if

              // replace "see you" or "see ya" with "cya"

              else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) + textArray[i].charAt(j+2) + " " + textArray[i].charAt(0) + textArray[i].charAt(1) + textArray[i].charAt(2) == "EE YOU")
              {

                output += "CYA";
                j += 5;

              }  // end if
              else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) + textArray[i].charAt(j+2) + " " + textArray[i].charAt(0) + textArray[i].charAt(1) == "EE YA")
              {

                output += "CYA";
                j += 5;

              }  // end if
              else
               output += "S";
             else if (textArray[i].charAt(j) == "O")
             {

               // test to see if it's a double-O word or an OUL word; if so, replace letters with a U

               if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) == "O")
               {

                 output += "U";
                 j++;

               }  // end if
               else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) == "U" && textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "L")
               {

                 output += "U";
                 j += 2;

               }  // end if
               else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) == "H")
               {

                 output += "O";
                 j ++;

               }  // end if
               else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) + textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "US" && textArray[i].charAt(j+3) != "E")
               {
                 output += "OS";
                 j += 2;
               }
               else
                output += "O";

             }  // end if

             // replace an "LY" ending with "LEY"

             else if (
               textArray[i].charAt(j) + textArray[i].charAt(j+1) == "LY" &&
               (j + 2 == wordLength || textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "." || textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "!" || textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "?" || textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "'" || textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == ";" || textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "," || textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == ":" || textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "\"" || textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "`" || textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "~")
               )
             {
               output += "LEY";
               j += 2;
             }

             // replace "USE" with "UES"

             else if (textArray[i].charAt(j) + textArray[i].charAt(j+1) + textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "USE")
             {
               output += "UES";
               j += 2;
             }

             // replace "TO" or "TOO" with "2"

             else if (textArray[i].charAt(j) == "T")
             {

               if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) == "O")
               {

                output += "2";

                if (textArray[i].charAt(j+2) == "O")
                {

                  j += 2;

                }  // end if
                else
                {

                  j++;

                }  // end else

               }  // end if
               else if (textArray[i].charAt(j+1) + textArray[i].charAt(j+2) + textArray[i].charAt(j+3) == "HAT")
               {

                 output += "TAHT";

                 j += 3;

               }  // end if
               else
                output += "T";

             }  // end if

             // if letter is not special and is not punctuation, simply output the letter

             else if (textArray[i].charAt(j) != "." && textArray[i].charAt(j) != "!" && textArray[i].charAt(j) != "?" && textArray[i].charAt(j) != "'" && textArray[i].charAt(j) != ";" && textArray[i].charAt(j) != "," && textArray[i].charAt(j) != ":" && textArray[i].charAt(j) != "\"" && textArray[i].charAt(j) != "`" && textArray[i].charAt(j) != "~")
              output += textArray[i].charAt(j);

           }  // end for

         }  // end else

         // replace end punctuation with more AOLer style punctuation

         if (textArray[i].indexOf(".") != -1 || textArray[i].indexOf("!") != -1 || textArray[i].indexOf("?") != -1)
         {

           // create a loop variable

           var placeInWord;

           // find out which character comes first

           if (textArray[i].indexOf("!") != -1)
            var firstCharacter = "!";
           else if (textArray[i].indexOf(".") != -1)
            var firstCharacter = ".";
           else if (textArray[i].indexOf("?") != -1)
            var firstCharacter = "?";

           if ((textArray[i].indexOf(".") < textArray[i].indexOf(firstCharacter)) && textArray[i].indexOf(".") != -1)
            firstCharacter = ".";

           if ((textArray[i].indexOf("?") < textArray[i].indexOf(firstCharacter)) && textArray[i].indexOf("?") != -1)
            firstCharacter = "?";

           // set where to start in the word

           placeInWord = textArray[i].indexOf(firstCharacter);

           // if there is a question mark...

           if (textArray[i].indexOf("?") != -1)
           {

             // ...ensure there is at least one question mark in the output

             output += "?";

           }  // end if

           // otherwise...

           else
           {

             // ...ensure there is at least one exclamation mark in the output

             output += "!";

           }  // end if

           for ( ; textArray[i].charAt(placeInWord) == "." || textArray[i].charAt(placeInWord) == "!" || textArray[i].charAt(placeInWord) == "?"; placeInWord++)
           {

             if (textArray[i].charAt(placeInWord) == "!" || textArray[i].charAt(placeInWord) == ".")
             {

               // output a random amount of exclamation marks and 1's

               for (var k = (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 5) + 4; k > 0; k--)
                if (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 2)
                 output += "!";
                else
                 output += "1";

             }  // end if
             else if (textArray[i].charAt(placeInWord) == "?")
             {

               // output a random amount of question marks and exclamation marks

               for (var k = (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 5) + 4; k > 0; k--)
                if (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 2)
                 output += "?";
                else
                 output += "!";

             }  // end else

           }  // end for

           // randomly print any combination of the abbreviations "OMG", "WTF", and "LOL" at the end of sentences

           if (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 2)
            output += " OMG";
           if (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 2)
            output += " WTF";
           if (Math.floor(Math.random() * 100) % 2)
            output += " LOL";

         }  // end if

         // put a space between each word if it's not the end of a sentence

         if (i != arrayLength - 1 && textArray[i+1] != "")
          output += " ";

       }  // end for

       // output the result to the bottom box

       document.translate.translated.value = output;

     }  // end translateText